Census.

Hiya.

Is there a way for I7 to be all like “[amount of NPCs that are (trait)]” and give me the right number?
I’ve been fiddling with it but I can’t get the phrasing right. Or I’m doing something ungodly that’s not meant to be done.

A person can be blonde or brunette.

say “There are a total of [number of brunette people] brunettes in this game.”

A person can be ill.

Say "There are [the number of ill people in words] in the waiting room. "

Should work.

even if they’re not visible in the room or anywhere nearby?

I guess that one gives the number of ill people in the entire world. You could also try:

waiting-room is a room. "There are [the number of ill people in the waiting-room in words] in the waiting room. "