By the Refurbished (and Slightly Radioactive) Coffee Machine

This one does sound a lot like The Multi-Dimensional Thief by Joel Finch.

The Multi-Dimensional Thief - Details (

(Never got further than a few dozen moves in, but I intend to replay and finish it. Soon. By Cthulu, or die trying.)


Yeah, that title had bounced around my head for a while; it’s too good not to have been used.

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Ok, since this is the coffee machine, reviving this thread is legitim I guess.

And talking about general things:

Tomorrow will be a big strike over here. So I have to walk through the whole city center to reach my appointment.

On my personal game development:
I currently am thinking through some ideas:

  • Developing a proprietary game with an open source engine.
  • Developing a 3D game which can be viewed and controlled by text and an IF-style parser.
  • Not yet decided whether adventure, RPG or maybe something completely different.

I wanted to write a game starting with X, just because. But of course I didn’t want it to be the sort of game one writes just because.

My current working title is “Xenophobic Opposites, Unite!” I hope I have a lot of funny dialogue and self-reflection thrown in. I’d like to have it in place for ParserComp.


Hmmm… Xenon Road(writes down possible game or band name)


Talking about games that begin with an X, I know you’re all waiting with bated breath for my philosophical AIF game Xantippe’s last night with Socrates. Xantippe just wants to shag, but all Socrates is interested in is his fear of death. Can you give him a convincing argument for the immortality of the soul, so he’ll finally get around to his marital duties?

  “Look,” you say, “I didn’t marry you for your large brains.”
  Socrates looks hurt.
  “Aw, come one,” you say to him. “I’m not the one who always runs around town bragging that he knows nothing at all.”
  “That was actually an important philosophical point!” he counters.
  “Whatever. I just want you to know me.” You lick his ear and whisper: “In the Biblical sense.”
  He pushes you away. “I’m gonna die, woman! Die!”
  “Why not Stoically accept your fate?”
  “Because the Stoics are post-Socratics. And I don’t think the Bible is known around here either in this century, now that you got me thinking about historical consistency.”
  “History, schmistory. I am large,” you say, showing him your voluminous body. “I contain multitudes.”


Sounds fun!

…I think there’s a bug in the code, though - shouldn’t all Socrates’s dialogue end with a question mark?


The more I think of it, the more it sounds like a real game I could make. :joy:

I’ll have to reject your bug report, Mike. That was how he talked in his early years. Here, just before his death, he has moved on to the [long exposition] [“Yes, Socrates. You are right.”] [Long exposition.] [“Indeed, that’s exactly how it is, Socrates”] style of dialogue.

Which somehow never worked when he tried to apply it to his wife?!


Ha, fair! As with Bob Dylan, I mostly listen to the early stuff.

Occurs to me this is an excuse to post the single best tweet in the history of Twitter (RIP):


Had a great day working on my Ink piece yesterday, when I had half a day off, and I’m taking a few hours off right now to keep that flow going. My goal is to make IFComp. :smiley: And it all started here, in this thread, with a throw-away joke. :joy:


Brimming with the kind of creative energy where I just want to stand at the coffee machine and tell everyone who comes to get coffee in a slightly maniacal voice that I’m brimming with the kind of creative energy where I just want to stand at the coffee machine and tell everyone who comes to get coffee in a slightly maniacal voice that I’m brimming with the kind of creative energy that makes me write way-too-long sentences. And then they tell me: get back to your room and work on your project. And I’m like, oh, yes, you’re right, what am I doing at this coffee machine? See y’all later.




This sounds more like a positivity post, but the choice of location makes sense.


Heyyy, same! :grin:

I have a solution: I have planted a bomb in the coffee machine, and have given @pinkunz instructions on how to disarm it. This should be enough motivation for us to get away from the coffee machine and work on our projects! :smiley:




I’m only moving away from it because the disarm beep is kinda loud, not because I don’t have full trust in your abilities…! :grin:


These instructions are written in a combination of Linear A, Proto-Elamite, and pig Latin!!! What am I supposed to do with this!?!?


Doesn’t xyzzy solve everything? (Ducking behind a filing cabinet just in case Pinkunz confuses the blue-red striped wires with the red-blue striped ones…)


First, you time travel to ancient Knossos. Then…


[Fiddles with wir-]

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