Looking at Jimin, Ari, and Shush next by @Scrooge200. Check out Brian’s review here and Jade’s review here.
Some things I liked
- I like how the author made a vibrant world. Going through the different locations there’s lots of descriptions that indicate a place people live and interact in.
- Having a group of friends tag along with you is a fun concept.
- The conversation mechanic, while a bit rough, seems like it’d be an interesting way to talk with characters once it’s more refined.
Some suggestions
Refining the story’s summary.
I’m told that three friends search for an items that’ll help one of their mothers with her business. But the complication is one of their younger siblings joins and there seems to be a personality conflict? Being told that there’s a conflict isn’t as appealing as finding out for myself through playing. I think “show, don’t tell” can help here.
Prioritizing fleshing out the story.
I know it’s only the intro and still a prototype, but I got to Saucedo’s bakery like Felix insinuated and got nothing when I talked with her and the other characters in there. I found I could explore more of the town and found a tavern with some other characters, but suddenly finding myself blocked right when I finish the very first quest didn’t encourage me to explore more of the city.
Giving us more of Ari and Shush’s thoughts.
I know there were parts like at the megamart where we could ask about the workers there but if they’re my friends then as a player I want to learn more about them so I can believe that they’re really my childhood friends. Perhaps bringing up more shared memories, inside jokes, etc. could help with this.
Wrap-up
This is a game with good potential, I hope you finish it Lance!