If you’re anything like me, you find it easy to edit, criticize, and improve other people’s writing, but not your own. And the blurb is annoyingly difficult to write, yet so important. I thought it would be nice to have a place where we could post blurbs-in-progress for IFComp (or any reason) and get some feedback on them/help with them.
If you’re too shy to post a blurb here, PM it to me and I’ll take a look.
I’m going to be brave and post my blurb here for dissection. I’d love some suggestions on how to make it better.
Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving…
Unrequited love, jealousy, violence, betrayal, vengeance. Come home to Goldengrove, a beautiful old house haunted by a lost soul trying to uncover the terrible secrets of her tormented past in this gothic family mystery.
What Heart Heard Of, Ghost Guessed is a puzzle driven, parser-based horror story with a limited, nonstandard command set.
A few questions- although I’d welcome any and all feedback:
1.) I’ve begun the blurb with 2 lines from a semi-famous poem (which is in the public domain) without attribution, because attribution here would ruin the flow. Tacky, or OK?
The poem is attributed in the game.
2.)I’m not sure about the phrasing of “limited, nonstandard command set.” The game uses emotions as verbs, which are the only commands you can use in the game. Is this an adequate description?
3.) There’s a place in the IFComp submission form for a content warning. My game contains child abuse. Do I need to list that here, or will the content warning be really visible? I want to disclose it, but don’t think I want it repeated over and over.