Ketchup is wonderful. But for tacos, can I entice you to find some good salsa?
Because we Texans get so little right, we are fiercely proud of our taco and BBQ expert palates. Whenever I hear someone of my parents’ generation refer to the Civil War as “The War of Northern Aggression,” I remind myself that at least we have mastered the taco, by stealing shamelessly from our culinary overlords to the south.
With no disrespect to Sophia intended, as a native New Yorker who spent my formative years around the greater Northeast, none of my people should be associated with that business in any way.
Ha! says the guy who went to school in North Carolina 
I’ve been chatting with Pinkunz about this and apparently people put salsa on their tacos…? I’ve only ever encountered it as like, something you scoop up with tortilla chips, the same way you might blob out some processed cheese or some other sort of dip into a little bowl and scoop it to eat as a dip. Learning a lot tonight.
This…
I think it also removes unwanted body hair. I’ve never read the directions on the bottle though.
This is making me sad. Salsa is amazing!
I dig the vinegary BBQ sauce and think we should do more of it here, which would be fightin’ words if anyone here heard me say them. Remember how little we have, Phil, and how the downtrodden will cling to any claim to superiority we can.
Love me some takoyaki!
I hear you. I remember when Texas was the state of Ann Richards and Molly Ivins, but today…
I quit eating octopus because I instituted a morals-based food rule: I won’t eat you if you can make and use tools. I love Tako and calamari, so this rule did hurt me. I was never at risk of eating any primate, though, so at least there’s that.
Guess I’ll have to stop eating raccoon.
I try to be a fairly low-key vegetarian, but yeah, octopi are on my list of animals that I feel like it’s especially not great that we eat. They are simultaneously very alien and very relatable creatures to me.
(Obligatory plug for Other Minds: Amazon.com)
Why not combine three things into one?
Designed by renowned Dr. Oetker to stimulate not only palates, but also ontological and gastro-taxonomical reflections.
If I understand the sandwich debate correctly, this product, with its two halves enclosing something else, could also be considered a sandwich in some unorthodox circles; thus making it a quadruple whammy.
I roll to disbelieve.
A sensible move (and my first reaction, too), but amazingly, it was a real thing. 
It was introduced around 2015 or so, and I’ve actually eaten one out of curiosity. Wasn’t even terrible (for a frozen-pizza-style product), although not super exciting either.
They (un?)fortunately stopped the production in 2020, as I just learned when I searched for the picture.
Here’s a video of someone testing it:
The company commemorated it in a Twitter obituary: https://twitter.com/DrOetkerPizzaDE/status/1301054718865702912
"Wo Licht ist, ist auch Schatten. Heute wollen wir Abschied nehmen von unserem langjährigen, tapferen Freund, dem Pizzaburger. Du hattest eine Ober- und eine Unterseite. Dazwischen befand sich pures Glück.
Grüß die Schokopizza von uns. Ihr fehlt."
Translation:
"Where there’s light, there’s shadow. Today we want to bid farewell to our longtime brave friend, the Pizzaburger. You had a top side and a bottom side. In between, there was pure bliss.
Give our regards to the chocolate pizza. We miss you both."
The chocolate pizza refers to this, which was a real product, too:
I’ve never tried one, but I think it was more like a chocolate cookie/cake/biscuit, rather than a mix of sweet and savoury/umami.
Dr. Oetker also once did an April Fools’ joke and announced the “Fischstäbchenpizza” (fish finger pizza), but apparently the response was so enthusiastic that they actually created a limited run:
jumping in to say this comment is top-tier literature:
I’m blowing you a little kissaroo from me to you too, as well as for the parasitoid wasps and their babies- they’re one of my favourite topics to wax poetic on.
