Anyone have tips for writing fantasy prose?

And it’s a campaign, so any other relevant information can be added on as it becomes important. It seems weird to present the intro of a campaign in first person. Usually it’s second plural (you find yourselves…). Is the DM/DMPC Amir’s son? If not, it doesn’t make sense to have the storytelling format.

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Hmm, I think we might have been miscommunicating a bit.

This isn’t for a TTRPG campaign, it’s for a graphical war game similar to Fantasy General and other older turn based strategy game.

The most popular Wesnoth campaign (not mine) is Heir to the Throne, which begins like this:

In the twenty-eighth year of the reign of Garard II, King of Wesnoth, the kingdom was plunged into a bitter war with the Orcs of the North.

The Northern host encamped at Galcadar, by the Ford of Abez, and the King led his forces to meet them. Splitting his army in two, he led one half while his son, the Crown Prince Eldred, led the other.

Eldred was a brave and courageous warrior, able to lead his soldiers well. Unfortunately for Garard, his son was also ambitious… and treacherous. In the heat of battle, Eldred’s men turned on the King. And so, Garard was slain in battle that day, along with his brother and all his sons but Eldred.

Second person is rare among Wesnoth’s core campaigns, and second person plural is completely unheard of. It could be a fun change of pace though!

Wesnoth allows users to upload their own campaigns. I’ve made campaigns for every faction. My Dunefolk campaign is the one I’ve been getting help on here. I worked harder on this because some players have refused to play with the Dunefolk faction at all for any reason. It used to be a user made add on called the Khalifate and names taken directly from Arab folklore, but it recently became incorporated into the mainline game. Some users have heavily opposed this inclusion, and for a while there weren’t that many Dunefolk campaigns. That’s why I wanted to include one of my own.

Thanks for everyone’s help! I’m wrapping up my rewrite based on feedback given here. I’m all ears for an my further advice, but I feel happy and satisfied with what I’ve learned.

Here’s what wesnoth looks like (not my campaign):

And this is what the story sections look like:

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You did a great job of tying it all together with this variation. Much more compelling opening.

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