Turbo Chest Hair Massacre is a real piece of work by Joey Acrimonious.
The main character’s insecurities prevent her from leaving the house, and you must deal with this by removing her chest hair. Although the razors are missing, useful substitutes can be found everywhere. There’s just one question: What price will you pay for perfection?
I went into this entry expecting a weakly implemented joke, and instead I found smart writing in a parser-based exploration of what it means to be in a relationship. Yes, it contains coarse language and erotic themes, but they’re artistically justifiable coarse language and erotic themes. Without them, the Turbo Chest Hair Massacre experience would be incomplete.
A wide variety of tools can be applied to the main problem, and they are uncovered by exploring the environment and interacting with the main character’s roommate. I enjoyed their different observations and reactions; they are clearly defined through sharp writing.
I was also entertained by how Turbo Chest Hair Massacre nudges the player towards obviously terrible solutions that are easy to attempt. Some of my worst ideas were smoothly executed without having to guess any verbs. After some quick early failures, I thought, “I need duct tape.” Dear reader, the game provided duct tape. After discovering more details about the roommates, I resorted to a method of hair removal that was suitably horrifying.
If I have but one regret, it’s that I didn’t spend more time exploring new frontiers of personal hygiene with Turbo Chest Hair Massacre. It was fun as hell.