500 Signs You Play Too much IF

#1
  1. When you’re in a (in-real-life) place, you expect to grab everything from one corner of the location.

  2. When someone says location, you mentally replace it with room.

  3. You had no interest in caving, but now you do.

  4. You have won three IFCs in a row.

  5. You analyze computer algorithm in IF steps (ASK PARENTS FOR MONEY, GIVE MONEY TO SHOPKEEPER, BUY PEN)

  6. You had interests in caving, but now you don’t. :smiley:

Add some more, let’s see if we can get 500!

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#2
  1. When asking someone to look as somthing, you say “x that!” instead of “look at that!”.

  2. When looking around an unfamiliar location, you look at every object around one at a time while mentally coming up with a description for each one.

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#3
  1. When asking someone to look at something, you say “person, x that!” and hope persuasion succeeds!
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#4
  1. Periodically you exclaim “XYZZY!” to yourself in hopes of something unexpected but amusing happening.
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#5
  1. You know exactly how every appliance in your bathroom functions, down to the smallest component.
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#6
  1. Whenever you get home, you dump everything in your possession in your “trophy room” and announce “score”, in hopes of determining whether any of the innocuous objects you acquired that day was secretly a TREASURE that increased your rating.
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#7
  1. Whenever you see a nightstand at an antique store, you boggle at how the carpenter managed to implement its being a supporter and a container /simultaneously/.
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#8
  1. If you fail on your first attempt at a task, you never try it again until you’ve since acquired some tool that you think may help you in your effort.
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#9
  1. You don’t know what to expect when your player’s time in this cosmic quest is up, but you hope the afterlife includes a list of AMUSING things to try the next time around.
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#10
  1. You find traversing an urban landscape supremely frustrating, with so many unuseful, “filler”, sites spacing out the locations where your puzzles are solved and your plot conditions advance.
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#11
  1. You never eat any articles of food that come into your possession until it becomes plainly obvious that there’s no other potential application for them.
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#12
  1. First thing when you get up in the morning, you check under the bed.
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#13
  1. You can’t resist giving phone booths a little shove when you pass them.
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#14
  1. You baffle your friends and family by insisting on referring to all physical objects in the world around you as “feelies” and praising their true-to-life qualities.
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#15
  1. Instead of telling people about experiences you’ve had, you insist they accompany you to the places the events happened and tell them you’re giving them a “walkthrough”.
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#16

UnwashedMass, these are all so awesome… thanks for starting this, TImewalker.

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(Marco Innocenti) #17
  1. Every other second, you take inventory of your possessions.
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(Emily Boegheim) #18
  1. Someone asks you for directions. “Is it over that way?” he says, pointing off into the distance. You look confused and say, “It’s on the north side of the highway!”

(True story…)

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#19
  1. You would leave a key on the ground anywhere, just to free up a hand to pick up a conspicuously discarded piece of garbage, because you’ve already unlocked a door with that key, but you haven’t yet done anything with garbage…
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#20

(This is by no means unique to IF; in virtually every computer game that has a geography and a human-scale protagonist, geography gets massively compressed. Nobody wants to spend ten hours of game time hiking from New Vegas to the Hoover Dam.)

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