- Whenever you encounter a problem, you always think of what solution or item is most effective on said problem. Examples: tie rope to tree trunk, pour gargle blaster on plate, use Super Arm on Cut Man, etc.
5 Likes
- You’re depressed when no one else at the party knows who Andrew Plotkin is, or why using plotkins as monetary units is really funny.
11 Likes
Using Zarf is better as it was declassified some time back then.
4 Likes
WITH SPORFE, mind you! Who knows how many liver failures have been caused because of that.
4 Likes
- You speak to people using short sentences consisting of a verb and a noun.
- You are in the habit of examining yourself to make sure that you’re still as good-looking as ever.
- When your workmates tell you that there’s a new release of the software, you ask whether they’ve put it on IF Archive?
- When a friend asks you a question and you don’t know the answer, you tell them to look it up on IFWiki.
- When your partner won’t stop nagging, you try changing to SUPERBRIEF.
8 Likes
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Somewhere around the year 2014, you lost the ability to sing.
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The only programming language you are fluent in is one that nobody you know in real life has heard of.
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When a friend tells you she is going to tour Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, you get all excited and send her an article about Patricia and Will Crowther.
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You are pretty sure that if you ever ran into someone in the wild who shared your hobby, you would keel over, and some words would appear in the air above you, saying *** YOU HAVE DIED OF SURPRISE ***.
10 Likes
- You play and write reviews for 3000 IF games. (just reached 3000 with review for The Loneliest House!)
18 Likes
Mega congrats, Brian! Now my limerick is no longer an approximation!
6 Likes
- You bought lincoln logs and legos at a garage sale expressly to build out an IF map as you were playing.
(Congrats, @mathbrush .)
5 Likes
- Any bits of paper and post-its are used for notes for your next IF project, and your desk is just covered with them…
(
@mathbrush !! onto 3000 more? 
)
5 Likes
Congratulations and thank you for all the time you’ve put into telling us all that is wonderful and interesting in the interactive fiction landscape!
- You ask someone to do a rollback when they miss a step in their DIY project, and are surprised when this results in you getting wallpaper over your feet as it is rolled back off its tube.
5 Likes
- GDC and Narrascope talks and similar material fill your recommended videos on YouTube.
3 Likes
- You knew about Twitch for years, but only made an account when you realized IF is occasionally played there.
3 Likes
- You constantly imagine stuff you encounter as an IF game; just finished reading an autobiography and now I’ve been wondering what a memoir written as an IF would look like, making each of the key scenes of your life livable.
3 Likes
- You don’t understand why your friends, family and work colleagues don’t share your enthusiasm for IF.
- You get annoyed when someone releases a new work of interactive fiction, as you’ve already got 10,000 on your ‘TO PLAY’ list.
- You have emulators for every computing platform on the planet, just so that you can play old text adventures on those platforms.
- Your collection of text adventures exceeds those in IFDB and CASA combined.
- You check your profile on CASA and see that you’ve contributed information for over 1200 games and submitted over 5000 files for maps, solutions and screen grabs.
- When your family asks what you want on your gravestone, you tell them, “*** You have died*** Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE, UNDO the last move or QUIT?”
14 Likes
That last one is a truly brilliant gravestone idea. Also, I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but it won’t hurt you to hear it again. Thank you for everything you do to give back. We are all better off for it.
9 Likes
Thanks. It’s nice to get a compliment occasionally. I waste so much time on this hobby, yet I don’t feel that it’s time wasted.
I just earned an ‘Admired’ badge for at least 5 likes on 300 topics. Golly. I didn’t even know that such a thing existed.
11 Likes
- Looking at Cyber Monday 50% off thousand dollar gaming computers and thinking “No Twine/Inform game needs that kind of power!”
6 Likes
It’s also the occupational deformation of drill sergeants…
on drills, a show of excellent formal training are the silent drills, where the command word is only one, starting the silent drill
(why not do a WalkThruComp during one of RL IF meeting ? no need of being of 100+ moves like the USMC silent drill…)
Best regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.
4 Likes
- You keep a box of things you might consider offering as IFComp prizes.
10 Likes