i got We Are Woof, which I find hilarious.
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Papa Sabotage
Anatomy Panic
Pathetic Tim’s Mom
Space 1981
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“Offensive Yawn” sounds like my kind of adventure.
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I would definitely play all of these.
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How could you do this to me! You know it is as addicting as ment… First I got Castle of Flesh. Then I got Leather Keep. But surely nothing trumps Walled City of Beef. Anyway, here are my too many cents:
Dracula Episode 2: Mathemagical Adventure
It’s actually the Count, but they hope nobody will notice the difference.
Titanic: New Year
Sometimes a message of hope just doesn’t ring true.
Rape, Back
A summary of the 2012 GOP senate campaign.
Tightest Cave
Let’s hope this game is about a dangerous form of spelunking.
Nostradamus’s Deeds
Did he put his money where his mouth was?
The President, Stowaway
An incredible journey from Kenya across the Atlantic!
The Broken Neverending Story
It got stuck and now it’s just repeating itself.
The Marvelous Glorious Revolutionary Text Adventure Game
(I like how you would never guess where the break between the two game names is, if you didn’t know the names of the games already.)
Donkey Joystick
Even mister Makane might want to give this one a pass.
Pyramid Consumer Guide
You’ll need one, because, you know, how?
Chicks Dig Six
Everybody digs Six!
Blizzard Fiction
“And after Aiur had been desecrated, the remnant of the Protoss race scattered across the galaxy to escape from the raging Zerg…”
Ted Paladin And The Case Of The Abandoned Monsters
They were tied to a tree in the forest after they complained about being tied to the roof of the car.
Disenchanted Tester
Perhaps it wasn’t the game’s fault. Perhaps his expectations were just too high.
The Hentai of Our Wombats is Missing
They really liked that furry stuff, and without it…
The Case of Limp
… yeah, exactly, that.
The Adventures of Alice who Went Through the Looking-Glass and Came Back Though Not the Ultimate Weapon
Which unfortunately meant she couldn’t stop the alien invasion that commenced just after she returned.
Monty Python & Holy Brimstone
I’d go for the holy brimstone alone. Add Python, and you’ve got a sure winner.
The Tower of Identity
“It’s actually the tower of the law of identity, and it can never be destroyed.”
“No? What happens if I blow it up with a nuclear bomb?”
“It wouldn’t be it.”
Pass the Senator’s Chambers
Without listening at the door, please. They’re performing a theological experiment.
Dungeon @
ASCII roguelikes brought down to their very essence.
Identity is Nigh
The world spirit has almost reached full self-conscience!
2 Likes
Okay, Victor’s method is more entertaining.
The Devil Made Me Magic Land
Just don’t look directly at the rainbows. Or touch the pegasi. Or the unicorns. Safer not to touch anything, really.
Escape from Pulsar Stripper
You shouldn’t have called her superdense.
Hotel Quest for the Lost Sheep
We are not asking why the sheep was in the defendant’s room. Just the evidence, people.
Choose Your Basic Training
Actually, all of the choices result in you getting psychologically brutalised, so you may as well just click wherever.
Nirvana in the Marching Band
Well, it’s not so much a march, more of an anhedonic shuffle. Kurt twirls a mean baton, though.
Frobozz Magic Child Murderer
We focus-grouped the IF audience and discovered that what they really want is Zork, body horror and games about children.
Zombie Beauties
We focus-grouped the mainstream videogame audience and discovered that what they really want is zombies and scantily-clad women.
Finding Tea Party
Spoiler: every time you hit a junction, go right.
Even the Devil Must Breakfast
…granted, it’s always Brutus, Cassius and Judas, same as every meal, but they’re covered in hollandaise sauce and he has some grapefruit juice and pain au chocolat on the side.
4 Likes
You’re killing me, Sam. 
I present to you one of the most fiendishly difficult pieces of IF ever:
To Cage Houdini
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I think this is a game even I can play!
Moist Somewhere
Just where exactly I won’t say
Cuddles Condemned
Consider yourself warned
Pervo Mole Man
He’s just lonely, give him a chance
Metroid Formerly Known as Hidden Nazi Mode
The secret is out!
2 Likes
Survival Verb
Spoiler: it’s SURVIVE.
Still Laughing at my Bomb Under Parliament
Guy Fawkes can’t get no respect.
Sexual Cathedral
The FBI made us remove this game from the Archive; the author got promoted and moved to another diocese.
Madam a Slaver’s Kingdom
Well, someone has to organise those doxies.
Sex Hallows Eve
I know, I know, technically Samhain isn’t a fertility festival, but if we don’t include a ritual orgy nobody ever shows up.
Evolution Conspiration
As God, you must meticulously hide millions of fossils in Earth’s strata, arranged in what appears to be a plausible sequence of descent. Seven-day time limit.
Dungeon Airport
“You burst through the door and into the next room! Within are three ORCISH TSA AGENTS manning a RADIOACTIVE PERVOTRON.”
Goldilocks Blues
“Well I woke up this morning / Bears all around my bed / Yes I woke up this morning / Bears all around my bed (yeah they was) / Now I got no home or family / Sleep in the woods instead.”
Goldilocks is of Bain
“Two-thirds of ursine product is outside marketable parameters. We’re going to lay off Father and Mother Bear and outsource their core functions to a Vietnamese squirrel farm.”
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Continuing our U.S political theme, here is a game set in a Virginia abortion clinic:
Flexible Probing
Don’t worry. Ultrasound harms neither mother nor child.
Being solves everything
All the mystics agree.
Sexual Visualizing
It’s better than porn. I mean, really.
Pick Up the Sea
Takes grinding to a whole new level.
Bliss to my Enemies
The small indie company that developed this game failed to focus-group any audience. Sales were disappointing.
Fran and Bart Want a Guardian
The heart-warming tale of two young boys attempting to escape from their dysfunctional home.
Hammurabi (The Hobbit)
Not, we should stress, the Babylonian emperor.
Nazi Alone
They’re pretty cute alone.
Anal Challenge
It involves fruit. That’s all we will say.
These two games were generated right next to each other; the second gives some much needed backstory to the first:
Ruined Aquarium
Enhanced Fish-Bot!
Sherlock Holmes in the Case of the Sit-In
He’s working for the Man. He’s always been.
Assault Here
To Erik’s surprise and delight, the assailants fell for his little trap.
when i was Antifascista
I was against it before I was for it.
Helvera - Mistress of the Minotaur
The slightly more mainstream sequel to Pasiphaë - Mistress of the Bull.
Matt’s Dog/House
Details are scarce at the moment, but we do know that one of them burned down.
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More random craziness! Take a look at the IF Review Generator that mashes together random sentences from IFDB reviews!
Now you can even click on the titles in the name generator and get a review written about it.
For the benefit of sharing and possible speed-IFs, the generated reviews are saved. Just share the web address given by the generator and anyone accessing it later gets the same content.
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I haven’t been having huge amounts of luck thus far, but I rather liked the ominous vagueness here:
Yeah, it generates mostly just nonsense. Some good bits here and there but not as often as with the names.
Partly I think this is because so many more names can be generated at a time; most of the names aren’t awesome either, but you can produce enough of them that each batch will have some awesome ones.
I must admit, I’m quite curious where most of the lines for the reviews come from.
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I would definitely play Exorcism Macrocosm.
Also, damn you, Juhana, I’d sworn I wouldn’t do another speedIF until I had updated Orphanorium and finished up the Undum thing.